Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Black and Whites

Finally blogging from my laptop!

The past few day 've been working from my iphone.

So i guess after everything. THE BEST SOLUTION IS TO DO ALL THE ONLINE WORK ON MY OWN. Yes it's definitely going to be stressful and tiring but nothing beats doing it on my own. Of course with some help from my favourite staff Sarah and Germs - when i'm overseas.

I thought when i employ someone, i'd be able to just sit back, relax and wait for $ to come to me but y'know what? THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Maybe not until i find someone reliable. BUT IM SCARED ALREADY. Enough shit happened when i took that risk.

Anyway, last week i went for my first photoshoot! Ok first "PROFESSIONAL" photoshoot. I took 6 hours for like 4 themes? Then i realised how tough modeling is! IT'S MORE THAN JUST HAVING A PRETTY FACE.

I had so much fun during the shoot i had thoughts about doing modeling as a career. Cus you see, you don't need to be very pretty! In my opinion, you just need to know how to pose and have a good body? Which i can work on if i really want to be one? Oh and the can always be photoshopped away? Or it'll be good if a client wants a different look!

p.s these are the unedited shots in B&W.

But that day, I found my bad angles and my good ones. A lot of bad ones - so many i really felt so ugly after that. :(:( I wished i was prettier so i'd be more confident about doing it as a job. Those models who aren't very pretty are confident. Which is something i always wanted to be but it's not easy to change my mindset. Especially living18 years wishing i was pretty.

It's ironic how i feel ugly but love taking pictures. IT IS TRUE THOUGH because i can look cute/pretty in pictures (cus it's deceiving)! In real life, i just feel like hiding my face whenever someone looks me in the eye. I don't like when people look at my face, just feel uglier cus they can see EVERYTHING. Unlike's flat. I can adjust brightness to make me look fairer, cover up with a tool if i have blemishes, pores aren't visible at all in pictures, can turn my head to the side to make my fat cheeks not so obvious.....yknow all that WHICH I CAN'T DO IN REAL LIFE.

Sometimes i wish i lived behind my computer all my life.

But this is where CONFIDENCE HAS TO COME IN.......

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