Saturday, January 31, 2015


It's just so so tiring to always be in a heated argument. I guess once people get too comfortable with each other we tend to be more insensitive and not so careful with our words so the fights get more and more severe. Many times we think we've forgotten certain things but when a new problem arises, those things in the previous arguments get brought up again so we can "prove a point" and have more things to say to strengthen our argument. Even when the new problem has nothing to do with the previous one. So the fights will keep escalating and we start throwing hurtful words around. I want to stop doing that. I want to truly forgive and mean it. It's really REALLY hard cus I always wanna win and guilt trip the other party so I become the victim at the end of it. Manipulating. What a total monster I can become when I'm pissed. I don't like how I handle my fights and I need to start taking the blame and change. I don't realize all of that when I'm quarreling and it really took me a LONG time and many self reflections later to admit my faults. Have to be more patient and understanding or things will always remain this way.

I've been through this so many times in many relationships and this time it's really very different from the rest of the relationships I've ever been in because of my baby boy. I'm really trying to keep us together so he won't grow up in a broken family. I really do hope things get better because I do not want him growing up in a home where his has to witness his parents quarrel all the time. I've been through it myself and it sure is traumatizing for me. I will never want to put my son through the same thing I went through, ever. I need to constanly remind myself that. Some days I do self reflect and realize I'm still kinda immature at times which is why is we end up in a fight. If only I realized that before arguing so it won't even turn into a fight. I need learn to accept the fact I'm at fault at times because not everyone is going to always give in to me cus I'm a "princess" unlike in the past. That's just childish thinking. Also in this recent months, I have finally learnt to use the word "Sorry" without bothering about what "Pride" I have. I'm so annoyed with my mentality sometimes! I tend to say so much and not even give the other party a chance to express his opinions. Selfish is the word. I always want him to put himself in MY shoes but have I ever put myself in his shoes and understood things from his point of view? Everytime he does it I shoot him back cus of my think-I'm-always-right character. 

I hope I'll be able to grow the f up already and that things will get better once really do. Start giving in and not being the prideful girl I once was which made many relationships fail. 

I'm so tired of this emotional rollercoaster I put the both of us on. 

Friday, January 30, 2015

What I Think: Miss SG Universe

When i saw this year's Miss Universe and saw Singapore's representative, i was really happy! Honestly, it's been awhile since i was really impressed with Miss Singapore Universe. I used to like following it but it just kept going downhill. Every year i'll be all like "uh, seriously why her ah?". But i never dared to say it out loud because then people would be like "if you think you're so good then you join lor!". Which i know i also cannot la, so i'm like really "say people say myself" haha. I really am not cut out for this sort of things, i just don't have the brains for it. So... i just kept comments to myself and not post 'em online but this year, I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE PAGEANT. I love and respect girls who are smart and pretty because i'm not like that at all and oh how i wish i could be like them.

This year's representative for Singapore is Rathi Menon. She really changed EVERYTHING. Like i've sorta "gave up" rooting for Singapore when i watch the pageant but this girl has showed that she can compete on an International level and do our country proud.

She did not win the big title but at least she won Miss Brilliance and Miss Personality. Which is something BIG for Singapore because i can't remember the last time Singapore won something on Miss Universe.

She's smart, pretty and whoa, that body.

And this year, i really liked our National Costume. Got the VS Vibe no? Haha.

Those who think it's really bad...

It's SOOOO much better than the past few years lor...

See what i mean? Now you know why i love this year's one so much?
More Fail National Costumes here

And i thought the evening gown was really pretty too. :)

A great year for Singapore indeed. #SG50 eh! Haha :)

She really set a very high standard for the next Singapore representative. Hopefully we have more girls who are as smart and pretty representing our country and Singapore will start broadcasting the Miss Singapore Universe pageant on Channel 5 again. I wonder if they stopped doing that because people stopped watching it?

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