Thursday, March 6, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
This is probably the most exciting thing which i am going to document on this space.
It's finally 3 months and so i can reveal this...
They say it's not good to reveal it before the 3 months mark so yeah i played safe. Now there's my reason for the recent weight gain (if you realized).....haha. You have no idea how difficult it was to answer when people ask me why I've gained so much weight recently! I don't usually allow myself to gain THAT much weight so easily because I'm always going for jogs to maintain my weight. So when I gained weight it actually shocked a few people? Haha. But now y'all know!!
When you find out news like this, you have 2 options and the decision has to be made FAST. The earlier the better.
I could've taken the easy way out, which was to abort and then lead life as per normal, not mentioning anything to the public. People usually get an abortion because they are too young and financially unstable to raise a child. However, i couldn't bring myself to do it. I just knew i'd regret my whole life if i went through with the abortion. I felt that my reason, if i did it, was not a good enough reason too. Moreover, it's always been a wish to be a young mummy - i can still be chio when my child is like 12? I'm 23, i believe i've been through a lot in life and am matured enough to look after a child. Money isn't a problem because i am working, plus my boyfriend is very stable. Stable enough to provide me with a roof over my head and monthly allowance to support both the baby and i. I am a grown woman now and i have spoken to professionals who will be helping me out to make sure things go as how i plan. My parents are always super supportive in everything i do and when i told my mom about it, she wasn't angry at all. I love how she always believes in me and gives me all the support i needed. I am really lucky to have her in my life because discussing and talking about the situation with her was really helpful.
The only problem i had was that this was not how i planned my life to be. Like every girl, it was a dream to find a loving boyfriend, getting proposed in the sweetest most unforgettable way like in the movies, wear my dream wedding gown at a beautiful wedding banquet, go on a honeymoon in a country i've been dreaming to go to and then, have kids. I didn't want to rush things with my boyfriend either. What most people do if they want to keep the kid is to hurry up register their marriage and throw a wedding banquet. I can't do it though. I don't want to get married because we've been together for such a short time and i am afraid he isn't The One. Like the quote in Frozen "you can't marry a person you just met". Lol. Ok and not like it was right to have sex with someone before marriage and not use protection and all that yeah i know, i know. Yes he is my boyfriend but a few months isn't enough for me to tell if he will be a good husband and a good father. Lets say we rush into this marriage and a year later find out we can't get along? Going through a divorce takes a long time and although i know it will kinda benefit me but i've heard stories from friends about all the unhappiness in the 3 years before the divorce gets finalized.
Some people may think it's selfish for the kid, to bring up a kid this way. Some people have told me how tough it is to be a single mom (especially in Singapore) but trust me when i say i've thought of this HARD and coming to this decision certainly wasn't easy at all. There are a lot of things i thought about which i can't blog about (as much as i'm open about my life, some things still have to be kept private) which would explain more on why i made this decision. Those things only my family would know....and a few close friends. It is a choice be a single mom for now and spend the next few years with him seeing how things go. It may not be the WISEST choice but this is what i want. If our relationship grows stronger, then we get married when the time is right! Of course there are pros and cons to this decision but that's life isn't it?
My life is really full of ups and downs and since i was a little girl. Life was never easy for me but i am slightly thankful because if my life wasn't tough, i wouldn't be who i am today. I won't say i'm powerful but i know that i am stronger than many. Having a positive attitude attracts positive things! Start looking for the good, seeking the positive, and striving to make every day a joyful experience! Being a single mom isn't the best thing that can happen to someone, no one actually wishes for that but hey, i can take control and make it an awesome thing by doing the best i can and instead of thinking of it as something "embarrassing" and "miserable". I really am looking forward to this journey ahead!
"Positive thinking by itself won’t lead to success, but it certainly goes a long way to motivate you to do the other things required."
I read lots of articles online to help prepare myself for this!
Your life isn’t going to be all doom and gloom, despite how you’re feeling right now, and, regardless of all the negative stories in the media, thousands of single parents live happy and fulfilled lives, with children who grow up in contented, stable environments. So the first thing you can do is give yourself a break.
Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be a bed of roses, especially to begin with. The first few weeks and months are by far the hardest – which is why we’re here to help you through with some tips and advice, both from professionals and from other mums who’ve been there, done that and bought the single parents’ T shirt. Here's their advice...
Decide to accept your new responsibilities
This is probably the biggest challenge of all. It’s very easy to feel overwhelmed and resentful about your situation, particularly if you didn’t choose it. Yes, you will have less personal time, be solely responsible for your children’s needs, and probably have extra financial stress. But these are all things that can and will be dealt with – and they will get a lot easier as you adapt. Resenting your situation will make it harder for you to cope with it, and won’t help you or your children come to terms with your new lives.
Develop a support network
We can’t stress this enough: make sure you get all the help, support and advice you can. Talk to friends and family and let them know you need them, make friends on our single parents chat room and check out our list of support organisations. If you have a civil relationship with your ex, he or she can be part of this support too. And, if necessary, talk to your GP or health visitor for help on things like counselling, support groups. You may actively need to seek it, but the more support you have, the merrier.
Another golden rule, this one. The more in control of your new situation you feel, the better. As single mum Bryony says:
“I really struggled to begin with. I just felt overwhelmed by everything. Trying to make money, look after the kids, do the housework – it was too much. I slowly realised that a lot of my problems were down to the fact that I was totally disorganised, which was making me feel depressed. It sounds stupid, but when I started doing things like getting the kids’ uniforms ready the night before, making sure the kitchen was tidy before I went to bed, having a drawer for all the bills… little things like that started to help me feel more in control of my life. I have to admit that sometimes I still let things slip – it’s tiring - but I force myself to get back on top of things, as I know it’s better for the kids too.”
A tough one, but one you'll need to prioritise. Booking a neighbour or babysitter occasionally so that you can have time to yourself, just to get your hair cut or see a friend, is a lifesaver. It's not being selfish - it's being human, and you won't be able to cope unless you do it. And the more you’re able to cope, the more you can help your children cope. Fact.
Be there for your children - really
Try to be with your children emotionally when you’re with them. It’s really easy to retreat into your unhappiness when you’re feeling low, but this is the time when your children really need you. Single mum Sam says:
"I was so bogged down in thinking about myself that even when I was with the kids I wasn't focusing on them. I spent all my time on my phone talking to my friends or crying, and looking back that wasn't fair on the children. I'm ashamed to say I drank a lot too. At one point I found my eldest, Charlie, sitting on his bed staring at the wall. He wouldn't speak to me for the whole evening. It was a real shock as he's always so chatty and demanding, and I did realise then that I hadn't been giving him any real attention at all. So I made a decision that I'd do something that the kids wanted to do every day - just simple activities like playing a game or taking the dog for a walk together. I actually think doing this helped me to get out of my rut and stop wallowing."
Don't be scared of the future
Your new situation brings a whole load of positives as well as the negatives. Being single doesn't mean that the future is something that just happens to you. Think about where you hope to be a year from now, or in the next couple of years, and think about setting achievable goals to reach your target.
Will i be a good mommy? Will my child be damaged without a father? Will they lack confidence and blame it on me? How old will he/she be when he/she asks about her real father? What will I say? I will have to decide that when the day comes, because I just don't know what will be best until that very moment. I know it's what feels right.
I don't know of many single mom role models but i'm really willing to learn a thing or 2 from you if you are a single mom so feel free to drop me an email ok? :)
I'm not sure how the reaction from the public will be like but choosing to reveal this means i already prepared myself well.
The next few months will be spent planning and preparing! Hope to learn as much as i can and know what to expect when the time comes.
Now the news is out, I can't wait to post the posts I've kept as draft! :)
at 8:11 PM Posted by Tammy
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
It has always been my dream to own a pink beetle car! I once said my first car is gonna be a pink beetle and who would've thought it would REALLY BE A PINK BEETLE!!!!!
Even if i could afford a better, more expensive car, i always said it'll be a pink beetle FIRST no matter what. :)
Even if i could afford a better, more expensive car, i always said it'll be a pink beetle FIRST no matter what. :)
I had a post years back about my dream car and when i posted the picture of it, some people still remember that post! I'm actually really happy people remember my dream car hahaha.
I remember back when i was in primary school, i was CRAZY over Barbie. My Barbie had a huge mansion and drove a pink beetle. The mansion was CRAYYYYY! My neighbor Sheryl & I were Barbie freaks and her collection was even more massive. The amount of money we'd spend on Barbie's clothes and shoes every week was mad. That was when i found my passion for fashion....and my love for the Volkswagon Beetle.
I am so so so thankful for my bf for helping me make my dream come true! Today he even sent the car for more modification so it'll be even more chio....I really love how it is already but he's like no, i think you need to change to LED lights and this and that. Hmm...great to have a perfectionist bf i guess? Haha.
The day i got the car in my hands and drove it felt like a dream. IT WAS SO HARD TO BELIEVE THIS CAR IS ACTUALLY MINE. The color is PERFECT. I can't seem to capture the actual color of it but i know i want to do a nice photoshoot with it! I MUST HAVE PICTURES TO REMEMBER HAVING THIS CAR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
Now that this piece good news is out...
ONE MORE I'LL REVEAL IN 1-2 WEEKS TIME! Which is bigger, more exciting news. ;)
at 12:21 AM Posted by Tammy
Monday, February 24, 2014
Running an online business is something a lot of people are doing right now because the overheads are so much lower! If you are intending to set up an online business, the first thing you need is a good e-commerce solution to help you set up your online store. It is best to start with an e-commerce store instead of just doing it on Livejournal or Blogger as it's more professional when you do a proper webstore.
I've used a lot of different e-commerce programs in the past few years because as you know, i've been running an online store since 2007! Believe me when i say i've tried A LOT of programs. Many times, my web store would jam up due to high traffic as the servers always crash. That caused A LOT of inconvenience for me and my customers always felt disappointed. I changed many different programs and it was really tough to find a good one that wasn't too pricey.
Until one day, another online store owner recommended i try SHOPIFY and i never regretted the switch! Gone are the days my web store would crash whenever i have a new collection! The best e-commerce program i've used because it's so much cheaper than the previous one i was using. There were a lot of things i could customize and do on my own (like choosing a theme for the webstore - this can cost up to $1k) so i saved myself A LOT of money.
When i was told that i am going to do a post on Shopify, i was more than glad to do so! I've always wanted to share this wonderful e-commerce solution with all of you.
What is Shopify?
An E-commerce solution that allows you to set up an online store to sell your goods. It lets you organize your products, customize your storefront, accept credit card payments, track and response orders – all with a few clicks of the mouse.
So, how do you set up a store?
You begin with setting up an account with Shopify!
How do you choose a theme?
I spent days and nights customizing the theme for www.ohsofickle.com.sg! It's really fun! When people ask me how much i paid to get my web design done, they find it unbelievable when i tell them it's FREE.
You can take a look at the work i did all by myself at www.ohsofickle.com.sg :)
What other awesome features are there in Shopify?
Your Shopify plan includes a free, built-in mobile commerce shopping cart. This means your customers can browse and buy from your store while on the go, using any mobile phone!
Many Payment Methods!
All accounts are enabled with PayPal, Google Checkout, and onsite payment gateways. Integrated with over 70 payment gateways in 100 different countries
Available 24/7 TOLL FREE HOTLINE 8001811121
Singtel-Shopify Value-Add Bundle!
And if you are ready to start your own online business now...Shopify is giving 5 of my lucky readers a chance to win a 3-month free Shopify starter kit!
To enter the contest, just email your name, HP number and shop name to firstname.lastname@example.org, and explain 1) Why you want to set up an online store and 2) What you plan to sell!
You’ll be notified via email/phone if you’ve been chosen!
Do note that the contest is only open to Singapore residents.
at 11:59 PM Posted by Tammy
Carrislabelle is a young, cheerful and sophisticated brand that caters to young ladies and adults. The idea of the brand Carrislabelle came from it's owner named "Carris" and a French word La Belle, which means "beautiful or lovely woman" in English. Every woman deserves clothing that best represent their style, and we hope you will find yours in Carrislabelle.
Back Cutout Peplum Top as seen on Me.
Available in Black/White/Turquoise at SGD$20.00 with Free Local Shipping
This top is made of stretchable material, padded and features a peplum hem for that flattering waist line and look.
View our outdoor Lookbook Shoots here:
Sign up for mailing list here to receive the latest updates and exclusive promotions just for mailing listees.
Besides that, Tammy Tay readers get exclusive discounts!
Enter "TAMMY5" during checkout to get 5% off your cart (Valid till 31 March 2014)
Like the NEW Facebook Page at www.facebook.com/carrislabelle
Follow us at NEW Instagram Address www.instagram.com/carrislabelle
Shop at NEW website
at 12:00 AM Posted by Tammy
Friday, February 21, 2014
Safer Internet Day 2014
Let’s create a better Internet together (literally)
Safer Internet Day is an international event that happens on the second Tuesday of February, which took place this 11th February with a global theme of “Let’s Create a Better Internet Together”, brought to us by the trusty folks at Media Literacy Council. The internet will be a much safer place if we learn to adopt the 4 simple values with a sense of urgency:
With the various incidents on the internet recently, it reiterates the need for us to reassess our social media habits and start being accountable for our words and actions on the internet. Nothing is really private on the internet and all your information online can be made public if one digs hard enough. Remember, for any fire you fuel, there will always be a victim, and consequences to face.
Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. Before you say anything on the internet, ask yourself :
"Is this true?"
“Is what I’m saying a fair statement?”
"Is what you're saying helpful or necessary?"
If it isn’t, you could be fueling an (unintended?) fire. Do not feed and participate in a social media justice blindly. Empathy for your fellow human being, no matter how bad that person, is a large part of what makes us humans.
Have a moral character - do the right thing, in the right way. Tell the truth, be honest. Even if everyone is doing something, especially if it's wrong, you do not have to participate. By not participating, we eliminate the risk of having an over-reaction (which is highly the usual case of internet brawls), having unrestrained and anonymous viciousness on the internet.
You scold, you swear, you curse – gathering all the wrong instincts in a group. There are certain group dynamics, be it within the blog-o-sphere, within your clique in school… and sometimes we behave like a pack of hounds hunting when rifled. Start showing respect by not shouting, threatening or labeling others (nicknaming is a bad habit). Learn to manage your emotions, handle situations and resolve conflicts civilly, patiently, tolerantly with a stand.
“Yes, somebody has done something wrong, repudiate it, condemn it, but do not lower ourselves to that same level to behave in a way which really makes us a ll so ashamed of ourselves to become abusive, hateful mobs, especially online and anonymously.” - Mr Lee.
Sometimes, it’s about respecting ourselves too. One who revels in another’s punishment, whether deserved or not, reveals a nature which lacks respect and empathy, a very important property of graciousness.
Living in a civilised society, why do we feel the need to gloat at the fallen or celebrate a punishment. The group / herd mentality has proven to bring out the worst in us, because it stops us thinking as an individual and doesn’t allow us to find our moral compasses. Sometimes, all it takes is for you to get off from your computer and reflect on what you have written and you may feel a tinge of embarrassment.
Every voice counts.
1. Girlfriend Code
Also, during a meeting i discussed with the team about my post on Girlfriend Code - The Really Wrong Incident. I was concerned if that was considered Cyber Bullying as some people have suggested. Well, am really glad i was NOT wrong by doing a post like that because yes, i am entitled to my own opinions and it's fine to share my views on things. And I make it a point to express respectfully. However, what i did wrong was not giving enough "respect" to her by approving insulting comments and what some of my readers did wrong was hurl negative insults and mean words in those comments. The comment box portion where people left hurtful remarks about "a particular person" would be considered Cyber Bullying as there were a lot of people insulting her and bringing her down. If she could not handle that amount of insults well, she might have done silly things like committing suicide etc. If we did practice the 4 simple values above, i would have gotten the message of "Sisters Before Misters" across without being labelled as a BULLY. Although it wasn't exactly me who was the Bully, but instead it was the people leaving the comments, i had to be responsible for not filtering it and so, i contributed and am also a Bully.
Many people dare to leave mean remarks and insults online as they can remain Anonymous and no one will find out who they are. Most of the time they say things they will never dare say in real life or if they have to use their actual name. When you leave comments in future, leave comments you would be proud of...constructive ones. Think before you type. Not comments you'll be embarrassed of if your identity got revealed, you won't be like "that's not what i said!".
It will mean a lot to me if you are in this with me! We don't want the internet to be a scary place one day right?
Watch the video, Pledge and Cast yourself in the video here:
How to Pledge and Cast yourself in the video?
1. Go to www.betterinternet.sg to pledge and Like the Page
2. Click the red "START NOW" button to begin
3. Create your pledge and video photo then click the round "PLEDGE NOW" button.
4. Preview the video!
5. Don't forget to share it with your friends on your wall!
You can find out more about #sid2014sg on Media Literacy Council (MLC) website at , or MLC facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/MediaLiteracyCouncilSG.
For all my readers, I want to know, what do you think about this interesting campaign after reading my lengthy post? Please take some time to watch the video and pledge. What do you think we can do to promote a safer internet environment?
Comment on this post or write about it on your own social media platforms with the hashtag #sid2014sg!
at 5:30 PM Posted by Tammy