Monday, April 13, 2015

On Being Slim

As you all know, I was VERY determined to slim down after giving birth so I could start work asap. As a full time blogger, most of my income is from doing advertorials, and most of my advertorials come from Local Blog Shops. Most blog shops don't carry a lot of sizes so in order for me to start wearing apparels to take pictures, I had to slim down. Because of how quickly I slimmed down, many women criticized me for it. Oh trust me, my friends have showed me and told me the mean things people have said online and offline. I'm used to it and it's ok if you think I'm that way but let me share my side of the story okie?

I do not mean to pressurize women out there who have just given birth to slim down like how I did. YOU DONT HAVE TO IF YOU DONT WANT TO. Or if you can't because eating a lot makes you happy and you have no time to exercise. Now that I've lost all the weight, I've became super lazy and cannot stop binge eating junk food. But that's fine because I'm comfortable and happy doing that now! When I start to feel uncomfy and gross then that will be my motivation to go back to eating clean and exercising more. I did the Bump to Mum episode to share how I slimmed down because the producers think many would want to know how I did it. My tips aren't anything "special" but I didn't say it was going to be anything different from the usual ways people slim down. People ask how I slimmed down so I answer how I did it my way. If everyone knew the way i slimmed down already, then why do I keep getting asked the same questions right? 

Pregnancy 8 months V.S Post-Pregnancy 6 months

During pregnancy, I ate more than enough for my baby and I and therefore, gained a lot but I knew it would be good and it is because I wanted a big and healthy baby which I got! So one thing I always remind pregnant mum to be's, PLEASE EAT. Unless your doctor tells you to cut down on ice cream and junk food (like me) because I gained a lil too much at one point. It's not like I cared so much about how I look that I put myself and my baby at risk just so I can remain thin? I only started to slim down once I was done breast feeding. I had to stop because I had a growth in my neck and had to undergo an operation. The doc told me I can't wait any longer as the lymph node was almost 5cm big and my neck couldn't move because it was so so swollen. Plus, I was put on medications which were unsuitable for BFing (still am on it till July). If I could, I would've BF for 6-12 months and then the weight loss would come after. I did not purposely stop BFing just so I could diet and get back into shape fast.

I am not saying Everyone has to be Skinny to b Beautiful. There are many plus-sized models and celebrities who are soooo gorgeous. Look at Adele! However, I personally feel more comfortable being slim because I have always been slim most of my life. I feel more Me. Yeah as superficial and vain as it sounds, it's true. I just can't see myself attractive if I do not feel good in my own body. I do not like flabs, I like being toned. I also still want to fit into all the pretty clothes I own pre-prego. If you grew up with me, you'd know how insecure I can be. If being slim makes me happy, let me be la? It doesn't make me a bad person or a bad mother? Does it? I mean, I'm vain, everyone knows that. Even after the baby, I still want to look good...for myself, for my partner. I wasn't born a very confident girl and I do have self-esteem issues all the time. When I don't feel good about myself, my partner suffers. I know I have some of the stupidest thoughts but I'm still going to say it...sometimes when I'm insecure I have this stupid fear of like what if he leaves me because he can't accept my new body transformation? It's damn lame but I really can't help it. Over the years I have slowly became more and more confident but seriously, pregnancy (and post) made me VERY paranoid about everything and I'm always over-thinking. 

Actually, whatever I do also somehow someone will have something to say. Fat wrong, skinny also wrong. I even got hurtful comments telling me how bad I looked because I was super fat when I was pregnant. Even some of my friends made fun of me lor (because some are just that honest and real around me) and kept reminding me of my old body. 
So ya...can't please everyone...the most important thing is that I'm happy with what I have now. The End.