Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Psycho Gf

Lately, the boy & i have been quarreling a lot....which is just sad. I hate quarreling. I turn kukoo. Like REALLY kukoo.

And i'm the one who's always causing us to quarrel. It's always about the ex-gf/bf issue. WHICH IS SOOOOOO ANNOYING. I always piss him off by accident by being insensitive and discussing about the ex-boyfriend and bringing up things to piss myself off bout his ex-girlfriend. If i can just keep certain thoughts to myself it won't happen but fuck, WHY CAN'T I?!?!

I'm always comparing. ALWAYS. Like i'll compare every single thing and must win. Even though i know i can't win and some things are obvious, i still ask and hope he'll say something i wanna hear. Then again, i don't want to be lied to and would be like "you liar you!!! trying to make me happy only right".

For example, that day, we were talking about Singing and apparently, his ex-gf is an awesome singer, so despite knowing that, i still had to ask "Her voice nice?" and his reply "Power lor" and I WENT CRAZY. -.- But it's a fact and i already know it?! It sucks that i'm like not a very good singer and i know it...i can find someone who can sing better, easily - SO WHY DO I STILL BOTHER ASKING?!?! Then...i went, "Aiya power then you go back to her lah! She's prettier, skinnier yadayada I'M JUST A FAT PIECE OF LARD!!!!!!!!" Seriously ah...i always think about the things i say, i want to punch myself -.- It has no relevance to what i was angry about at first.

He went like "No??? Singing is not everything what?" then i said something like "Ya but if a girl can sing and she's pretty and has the body who don't want?!". WHY I LIKE THAT AH?! The things i say when we're quarreling is super stupid and quite funny lor. Thinking about it i wanna laugh....BUT AT THAT POINT OF TIME, I WAS DAAAAAMN ANGRY.

One thing led to another, and i just went on and on and on......end of the day? He hugged me to calm me down and said sorry - FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN'T EVEN DO/CAUSE. It's always like that?! Then again, if he doesn't give in to me, if he argues back and screams at me, i'll go 10 times crazier & it's really nooooot funny anymore.

I also like to do things like looking at all his ex-girlfriends pictures....or girls he find pretty, and go mad. Like he doesn't show it to me, he reformatted his computer so i can't find anything but i'll go search....i'll go search for blogs, try to find old posts, and piss the fuck out of myself. I do all this, and get angry with him & it's not even his fault?! I should be glad he treats his ex-gf well right? NO! I'd be like "Wah so loving.....you still love her right? Don't bluff me! How can you stop loving her so easily you guys used to look so loving! IS IT YOU DON'T LOVE ME AS MUCH?!". And... I know me, if i come across a post which lists out the bad things he did to his ex i'd be like "You'll do that to me right? You'll say that to me right?!?!" FUCK I CANNOT STAND MYSELF. HAIIIII WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE MOST NORMAL GIRLS?!?! Girls are already born quite complicated but i'm really damn jialat lah.

Wah....i really want this relationship to last and don't wanna be like this anymore :( Ok i know this post just made me look like the worst kinda girl you can ever meet - but l'm writing it cus wonder if it's just me....or if there are people out there like me? I definitely have my good girlfriend days,if not by now my boyfriend would've already left me, but i really want to stop my nonsense lah. I feel i'm pushing his limits....he'll soon scream and shout at me and be nasty - & i don't want that day to come, EVER! I cannot handle it when someone shouts! He has done it before and i went super insane! It kinda scared him and he decided to calm down and give in to me but i know, one day, he'll reach a point where he's used to me crying like a baby, hitting myself really hard, or punching a wall and he'll walk away....when it comes....it might be too late? :(

Ok ok 'nuff of the craziness...

Anyhow, Valentines Day is around the corner! Can't wait! I need to shop for a gift and plan something wonderful~~~ oh and i can't wait for No Strings Attached! ASHTON KUTCHER!!!! Yknow I'm going to get angry in the cinema watching that show....cus Natalie Portman is my boyfriend's fav actress.....and i'm going to say stupid things if i see sex scenes like "You wish you're Ashton Kutcher right?! Can touch her all!" and then i'll say something again like "I wish i was Natalie Portman! I love Ashton Kutcher! HE'S TOO HOT!!!" to piss him off even more. THAT'S SO TAMMY PLEASE.

P.S Sorry i can't do a Valentines Day collection on OSF :( Not enough time.

P.S I read all your comments!! Thank you for sharing your experiences :) I wanna reply some lah but so difficult....stupid comment box! I should change my blog layout soon so i can change to a better comment box. Walau my boyfriend always ask me why i'm like that yadayada, cus i doubt his exes were half as siao ding dong as i am, and he made me feel like not many girls are like that. Well after reading all your comments, SO GLAD IM NOT ALONE! Hehe :)

P.S Eh i just read some comments, confirm know my bf and his ex gf friends or something cus they mentioned names. :/ WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT KINDA RELATIONSHIP MY BOYFRIEND USED TO HAVE WITH HIS EX-GF? What's your problem!!!!! They used to be sooo in love - I KNOW?! That's exactly why i feel inferior?! Even if yall are her friends, must ya'll so mean to me not....also not i break them up one?! & so what, if they are still in contact or not? Why cant someone be friends with ex-gf? I'm also friends with my exes what?! Wrong meh?? If they're still friends, it doesn't mean they still have "something going on"? Come on lah? And right...walau enough lah, "he loves her more than you cus youre ugly" OKAYYYYYYY...? But i don't think my bf actually cares about how i look? He emphasized on that to me like a million times cus i'm constantly complaining about how i'm soooo much bigger than his ex-gfs. I know he loves me for me otherwise why does he bother salvaging the rship again and again even though he knows i'm a bit crazy? Right? You know him, scold him lah, why you scold me?! You want me to go like "eh baby, lets break up, i'm too fat and ugly for you" to the one i love is it? Siao! If i'm with a guy who's too good for me, all the more i treasure uh!

148 comments:

  1. Hahaha! Don't worry! U are not the worst gf yet, I'm like u, but even worse . For every single thing my bf does, which I don't like I will be scolding him like a mad bitch. Of coz sluts appear at some point of his life, and I'm just angry over his past, can't stand it like when he flirt and touch girls, I used to hit him alot , till the day I got really sick n tired so I just forget any it.

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  2. i am like that also la rofl ! psychotic girlfriends! raaaaah. and i go crazy too. i have abusive thoughts!

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  3. OMG!!! I'm super like that too??? Like I will always go stalk their twitter/blog/fb and see their new pictures.... Then ask myself SHE PRETTY MEH??? WHY HE LIKE HER??? That kinda thing and go nuts HAHHAHA I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PSYCHO ONE????!!!!!!!

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  4. OMG!!! I'm super like that too??? Like I will always go stalk their twitter/blog/fb and see their new pictures.... Then ask myself SHE PRETTY MEH??? WHY HE LIKE HER??? That kinda thing and go nuts HAHHAHA I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PSYCHO ONE????!!!!!!!

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  5. you're not alone! I stalk my bf's ex gf every single day and she's even on my twitter. she's attached now but I still fear that she might one day try to get him back with her. but like you, my bf is also a sweetheart and is always there to let me bitch about her and never fails to assure me that he'll never end up together with her again.
    stay strong! ♡

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  6. Hey Babe,

    my goodness when i read your post I was lyk, THAT IS HOW I AM LOR! The feeling really sucks! And I thought I'm the only one.
    I'm tryna make sense of myself too!Althou it ain't exactly a plus-factor,its nice to know someone uds's the feeling :)

    L.

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  7. you dont have to be jealous of others y'know! Cuz you're alr v perfect. Pretty, slim and tall.In fact, i think all th girls are jealous of you! Furthermore, at this age, you're alr a famous blogger and fashion designer?! HOW COOL. Anw, you're just famous lah! SO BE MORE CONFIDENT ALRIGHT? LAST LONG W/ YOUR BF! :D

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  8. In all honesty, you really have a problem. Sometimes its just about self control and not acting like a spoilt brat.

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  9. HAHAH!
    I'm just like you in a relationship! Always intending to change but it just happens..??

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  10. youre crazy girl but its fine really we all feel like that sometimes insecurities and all you just gotta know he loves you now and all thats in the past, is the past so chillzzz and stay pretty

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  11. Hi!! I've never commented before! My first time hehe! :P

    I also have my crazy times, especially when i love someone and want to be the best in their eyes so they will never leave me! I also wonder if other girls do the same?? But I'm happy you posted this and i can relate to you! I think we give our bfs nonsense because we know we are far from the best and maybe we can't really understand why they would be with us rather than other people who are better, prettier,etc.

    We got to learn to let go you know? If your bf treats you awesome and we must accept the past is the past, and other girls he likes or even idols are nothing to him because he has you and wouldn't want anyone else right now!! You have a good bf because that he's willing to give in to assure you! Must treasure that ok?

    My friends and I have met our fair share of guys that went berserk shouting at us and leave the moment we get insecure and cry about all these kind of things! They would ask us to STFU and get lost than sit down and calmly explain to me that we're mistaken, they love us a lot they won't do that etc. It's damn scary when they rage! :(

    My current bf is the type to console me and so I decided to finally start changing because it really causes him a lot of hurt whenever i throw such tantrums over these kind of stuff. He once told me that It's like I'm constantly questioning if he loves me (more than other girls etc.) and thus making it feel like I distrust him and he's probably a bad bf since I can't feel his love and care for me. He ends up feeling very demoralized even though he makes himself be ok to calm me down as he doesn't want to lose me. Quite heart pain right if you think about how it makes them feel!! Really motivates me to hold my tongue and think twice about accusing him like that. Maybe your bf feels the same!

    You can start writing down a list of sweet things your bf does for you etc, then if ever you feel insecure, look at it and remember how much he loves you. Then, instead of comparing with others here and there, channel all that competitiveness into finding something nice for him that you can do for him so that you can *up your value* over other people HAHAHA I often do this now!

    You'll start feeling better the moment you see him surprised and happy because maybe you baked him a cake, or got him something thoughtful to show how much he means to you. He'll also treat you extra nice as a form of appreciation, so you can feel more valuable. Win-win situation!! :D

    Jiayou Tammy!! You can definitely make this work. Slowly just try to motivate yourself to change! All the best! :)

    PS: Sorry for the long comment. Overly enthu! X_X

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  12. Omfg Tammy you totally described my life. The ex girlfriend thing, comparisons, stalking the exes. I dunno why I do that when it's the exes who're supposed to be stalking US... but srsly man. You just described everything to the details. Maybe it's actually normal??? I hear it's cuz we don't have enough confidence in ourselves, but then again, who does right? Sigh.

    I also like to compare looks and talents and everything to my bf's ex. She was a whiny cutesy girl (you know the kind guys like -_-) but with no personality... So I always told myself that I was better cuz I had personality and she was just some whiny piece of shit. Even now I still stalk her though it's been almost 18 months since my bf and I are together. Well......... Good to see that someone feels the same as me!! :/ hahahahahaha. Stay pretty ok!!

    <3 Alexys

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  13. I am like you. Getting pissed over unnecessary things. Finding things to be angry with. Asking the obvious and worst of all browsing through the girl's Facebook he finds pretty . Looking at her pics and feeling LSE (low self esteem). He always tells me to think before i do , think before i say anything. But i just shoot when i'm unhappy. But a thing which pisses guys who love you alot is when you are pushing him to other girls. Example like going back to his ex when he had already chose you. It really hurts them when the guy had given their best and love while you are taking it lightly and pushing him away. It gives them the feeling you don't appreciate him and you can't feel / see what he has been doing for you.
    Cheer up girl, i guess we just want more attention from the guys. :)
    Try to control your emotions and think before you do or say anything which you can explain for ! Think of what your bf had been doing to you all these while , this little sacrifice is all worth it.

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  14. tammy! mind telling me what camera are you using?:)

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  15. Hi Tammy,

    First off, you're brave to have said all these and I totally understand where you're coming from and its NOT psychotic of you to react as such. You just need confidence and self-control! And to be optimistic.

    You are good in lots of things that your BF's ex isn't. It's not always 'bout the looks but the brains too. Sexy are the ones who are confident about themselves. You're good at designing and keeping up with fashion. You've got the looks and the artistic talent. I'm sure lots of girls do envy you.

    Anyways if you want to compare, I'm sure it'd be never ending because life isn't fair and there are bond to be girls who are more attractive than us. I'm sure your boy picked you cause you're outstanding in a special way.

    While it is only human to 'doubt' or find fault with our BFs once in a while because all we want is to receive their assurance or attention or just for them to say things that meant we are the only girl in their eyes, its not wise to continue feeling this way. It'd only damage your self-esteem even more. You are the only one who can decide the path you want to take.

    Anyways bottom line is; CONFIDENCE!

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  16. Omg! I'm exactly like you!!! I'll literally find stuff between my boyf and his ex and showed him attitude. And then he'll hug me and apologies! Lol! I also think that one day he'll explode but I just can't help it :( Its not only you my dear! :D no worries :)

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  17. Ok, im another ohsofickle too! HAHAHA! I want to stop this too :(

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  18. Im like you too! My bf and his ex are from your sec sch may be you know them

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  19. Oh tammy, don't worry. You're NOT the only one. Im like this too -.- Sometimes idk what got into me and i just talk nonsense to my man and piss myself off. I even search stuffs about his ex too even though he himself didn't even bother. -.- Come to think of it, it's damn retarded right. We are so similiar in this point. But i really cannot help it! Told myself to change, but at e end, same things happen. -.-!!

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  20. There was a time when I wanted to do it and did things like dredging out the past JUST so I have something to argue about. But after a while I realised it's quite stupid lah so I stopped altogether and try my best to avoid any situations that may lead it that. <:

    Please release a new collection soon~ :D

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  21. Wow. If there's one thing I have to say about you, it's that you're honest. Don't worry, we all have our psycho girlfriend days. Try to slowly reduce the frequency of it and then you'll soon get the hang of it. Always remember that everyone is different! :)

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  22. Just want to let you know, I think most girls are actually like that. We all feel insecure, I guess. Well, at least that is how I am. My bf is a really awesome guy/bf but somehow, I always end up screwing things up myself.. :(

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  23. you're so cute tammy. stop feeling inferior and dig up those past shit already. what matters most is NOW. he has chosen YOU. and you're HOT. have an awesome Vday aight!

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  24. Hmmm, i think some girls do act this way sometimes due to our insecurity and all. I used to be like that for quite awhile before, but after some time when you find it quite dumb to muddle upon stuffs like your bf's ex girlfriend.. you'll realised that actually whatever you said doesn't made any sense and once after this period, i guess you won't feel any disturbance about this kind of issue anymore since that's the past already. So no worries, you're an awesome girl! to even write on your blog about such things shows that you're really very courageous, way to go. I believe that you and your boyfriend will be able to last !

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  25. omgosh tammy... :O don't act like that! he's a boy, and he's still young. he can leave anytime if he wanted to. stop comparing yourself ok? when the fuck will it ever fucking get into your head that you're too darn gorgeous? and i bet you $5123988723843 bucks that there are loads of girls out there who envy you. and yes! even me. come on! about the singing thing. so his ex can sing like some bloody mariah carey, SO WHAT?!?! you were beyond overreacting! next time, when you feel like going all crazy on his sorry ass, stop yourself!

    i am a loyal reader, jsyk. i'm sorry but after reading the post, i thought what you did was.. a bit fucked up? :/ i know jealousy gets to people most of the time, but i'm too shocked at the way you handled it.

    but anyway, it's my opinion. sorry if i offended you. D: BEST OF LUCK! xx

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  26. hey you're not alone! i tend to get reaaaaaalllyyyy insecure bout my bf's ex. it's really annoying how someones past gets to u. and i get depressed and bring up unnecessary things that only pisses both of us. i'm getting better tho! i mean i know its inevitable to feel insecure but just know that he's with u now and not her. and since he reassures u thousands of times you have to believe it. lucky for u he doesnt hang out with her.. well he is still friends with her.. not close but.. can u just try imagining them in a space together? regardless of whther there are thousands of people in that space. well there you go.

    cheer up! we girls are just insecure like that but u have to try to not let it get to your r/s cos it's not worth it :) baby steps!

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  27. Hey sweetie!
    just wanna let you know that your definitely not alone aiight! because i went through the exact same thing as you before & i know it sucks muchhh but i came to realise that its normal to feel that way & things will certainly be fine after all..its just because you love him:) heheh

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  28. Hey! You're not the only one. Its only natural fr girls to be jealous and possessive. :) Try to do things differently fr a change ? Like creating new memories? and learn to let go of the past like thinking abt how u also have happy times and all. You'll cope with it overtime!

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  29. hi tammy, been keeping up with your blog for a while now. love your style!

    anyway i wanted to tell u u are not the only one crazy about exes. my current bf had a pretty 'slutty' past, so i get pissed thinkn about it. i also look at his ex's pics to see how she looks, talks... so dumb coz we always end up in fights since i like comparing so much. i also search past stuff too, stuff they wrote to each other. i just like to be the best one so compare every lil detail. but i try to control it now since i figure hes with me now, he loves me and theres a reason why the past relationships didnt work out. also, i dont want my crazy outburst to be the reason we break up during the fights, esp i say things i dont mean when im angry.

    so be happy that u guys are together now, i know its hard to ignore it but i hate myself after fights because i caused problems that were non-existent. if he doesnt do anything wrong, dont cause fights like me and regret it later. be happy! :)

    -esther

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  30. OMG i do all those crazy shit like i can totally break a chair or hit myself really hard too. dont worry u're not alone. I'm like this too. its gonna be okay if you have a guy that loves you enough to stand all these shit and it will get better, tell yourself that. and CONTROL.

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  31. saw ur tweet, whr do u shop @ online?? ^^ n is there any brand of shoes (heels) u can recommend which won't hurt that much when worn.

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  32. tammy. i totally totally totally x 100000000 understand u, becos im same as u. totally the same. e nonsense we gave. when they gave in, but for one day they'll rly be so mentally tired. im in a 3 years relationship now. just pass 3 yrs, and im trying to change as much as i can. my jealousy level is very crazy. im jealous bout his mum, even when she say a caucasian kids are pretty. im so bloody jealous can. lol. i can feel ur pain. but this is not what we want. its very torturing for us. I've been better. cos i duno why. years gone by, and u'll be sick and tired of the same quarrel, jus tell urself. u're what u are, he love u for who u are, he has never ever been unfaithful, its normal for him to say if one is pretty if u ask. cos girls tends to find trouble, agree? LOL! i mean. i keep tell myself. i do glance at guys too, cos we've eyes mah. dne u'll be thinkjng "NO! i can see thou no intention or heart beat, but he cant!" LOL! tats very selfish of me too at th 1st place. but after years gone by, i started to think through. i suffer alot alot alot. like as in, its the prob i gave myself, not he unfaithful or so. but just tell urself. u see guy in movie naked too, outside saw handsome guys too, what makes us think our bf cant when he have a pair of eyes too? xD den slowly by den.. things will be better. im at first jealous bout ex too. but that took me nearly 1 yr plus to put it at rest. i believe u'll be able to overcome too! we're the one that suffer mentally! trust me tammy, u could do it. always brainwash urself by talking "positive" stuff to ur self in ur brain. good luck! long last w ur sweetheart babe! ;)

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  33. Hey don't worry tammy, im like you sometimes. I can't stand it myself either! But you know, I just wanna let you know... this insensitivity has to go away, someday. Afterall, we clearly knew it's not correct to react this way, and all we must do is to trust the other partner more. We are blessed to have found whom we love and at the same time make us so loved, so... yeah :')

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  34. I'm like that too la. I threw such a big fuss about not wanting to touch stuff that his exgf touched before that my bf, in a fit of anger, just threw away everything that is remotely related to his exgf. It's just weird obsession of wanting to the "best in his life". Even though we've been together for almost 2 years, i still compare myself to his ex. Hahaha, i even got angry when i found out that she got married. Like, "aww, see, you missed your chance." I think it's just female nature. ):

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  35. Hi hi!

    Hahah sorry but this comment is not about what you posted. ><

    I am thinking seriously about getting a tattoo, and am wondering where you got yours done? Cos I think the tattoo on your collarbone is super nice!

    Anyway, I do hope your relationship will go well, because it's not often that a person will sit down and think through his/her actions. The aim though is to act on your reflections. Cos through doing that, you will grow to become a better person. :)

    Take care!

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  36. I feel you.. I am totally like that. Probably worse!!! My boyfriend kinda cheated on me, with my super good friend.. And with the fact that some of my girlfriends think he's rather hot, love to wear revealing clothes and are super flirty!!! Sometimes i flare up at the simplest things, like if one of my flirtier girlfriends are alone with him and his friends tonning together and he's always super super super friendly to them. It pisses the shit out of me but that's his nature. I know i shouldn't be pissed off and trust him, idk whether it's him or it's some of e gals i can't trust. Till now, i'm still lacking in trust, after 4 1/2 years. And i've been struggling with this for 2 years now.

    But slowly, i'm trying to trust.. It's really hard. But i'm trying JY tammy! You're definitely not alone!!!!!!!

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  37. Give and take. God bless you

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  38. awesome blog post babe! there are obviously sooo many girls out there feeling and doing exactly the same stuff. i think you and your boyf will be fine! the fact that you can openly admit your insecurities on your blog and to him shows you're on your way to moving forward. better to be open and acknowledge the craziness rather than be in denial. loveee xx

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  39. Youre nt alone tammy. Im totally another clone of your attitude towards such things. Always wanna pick on my bf one. Hahahaha. But thank God our bfs are nice people. LAST LONG WITH UR BOY YA!

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  40. i think that all girls are like that (even if some don't admit) but i guess the only solution is to have confidence in yourself so you won't think that you're not good enough for your boyfriend! they are, afterall, ex-es. and they are in the past for a reason. so just treasure the present and look forward to the future!

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  41. Haha I'm just like u too and I bet almost 99 percent of the population (girls!) are like that too! So no worries, we are ALL in the same boat :D

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  42. You're not the only one..
    I'm like u, always questioning about my bf's exes. I get jealous & i couldn't put down the past, maybe because he is my first love, I don't get to have exes before.

    I know bringing back the past doesn't help in the r/s. Consequences would even be nasty.. but as girls, we can't help right? It's our natural being, we can't stop.. even if we try to, the jealousy/hatred will just acculmulate and BOOMZXZXZ.. might be even worst one day!

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  43. I had the same thoughts and actions just like you.
    Now I know that I'm not the only one. :)

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  44. woah i thought my ex was the only girl like this. my recent ex gf was just like you, she keeps on talking and talking about my past with my ex-gf before her.
    She goes like '_ is a nice girl, she loves you alot you should go back to her etc etc' -.- not once but like so many damn times and i keep controlling my temper.
    once i blew it off with her on the phone and our date was nearly cancelled but thank god she was fine with me again.
    But the next day when we were on our date, she brought up the topic again and we quarreled like siao on the bus-.- total bs i swear.

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  45. Totally like you. Can't be more mad at myself after splurting those mindless words. And the worst thing is i'm not even with that boy but he's just tolerating me so much when i go psycho and ask him about his past and all.... Trying to change too but can't help myself :(

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  46. I'm exactly like that as well! Okay not exactly, I might not be THAT crazy but I get super paranoid and insecure too!! Especially the singing one. SO ALIKE ME! HAHAHAHA.

    But he left me in the end. He said he doesn't love me anymore. And we were so fine that time, no squabbles, no arguments and he just stopped loving me because we haven't seen each other in a week plus because we're so used to seeing each other every single day. He seems to have a new girl now which he doesn't want me to know and tries to hide from me. AND HE DELETED ME OFF FACEBOOK, that's something I don't understand. I thought he wanted to be friends still. He fell out of love with me, it hurt but I'm okay now. I just still feel blah 'though, that the fucker moved on damn quick! We just broke up 2 weeks ago. And I think him and the new girl are already sleeping together! Like wtf. He stays over at her house, FUCKERS.

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  47. I'm exactly like that as well! Okay not exactly, I might not be THAT crazy but I get super paranoid and insecure too!! Especially the singing one. SO ALIKE ME! HAHAHAHA.

    But he left me in the end. He said he doesn't love me anymore. And we were so fine that time, no squabbles, no arguments and he just stopped loving me because we haven't seen each other in a week plus because we're so used to seeing each other every single day. He seems to have a new girl now which he doesn't want me to know and tries to hide from me. AND HE DELETED ME OFF FACEBOOK, that's something I don't understand. I thought he wanted to be friends still. He fell out of love with me, it hurt but I'm okay now. I just still feel blah 'though, that the fucker moved on damn quick! We just broke up 2 weeks ago. And I think him and the new girl are already sleeping together! Like wtf. He stays over at her house, FUCKERS.

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  48. I'm like that too! Don't worry yeah :) I guess it's only because you love him too much. BUT OMG WTF. You so pretty alr what's there to feel inferior about!! If like that you feel inferior, all the more girls like me should worry!

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  49. Hey Tammy, you cam queen on the year for 2010! Don't feel inferior! Must have confident.
    But a piece of advice, it's not good to always be mad k? You gotta change, slowly. Trust is what is needed in a rs.

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  50. I used to be like that too. And I still do that sometimes :/ He's my first bf but he is a lot older so he has loads of exes which I get damn jealous about. Especially his most recent one cos she's in the same school as both of us!! So when we run into her when I feel really awful. I stalk her sometimes on facebook too. I hate that she's pretty and smart! Sometimes I will bring her up when we talk and I will insult her and see if he agrees and if he doesn't I get quite pissed off. I think I am quite insane too but I can't help it. I even used to get nightmares about her when my boyfriend and I first got together. I can't forget how he cried when they broke up (I was his friend when they broke up) and it makes me think that he might still love her even though he claims he doesn't. I wish I had many exes to make him feel jealous of also! >:(

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  51. Read your post and i totally can relate to how you feel. I've been with this guy for nearing 2 1/2 years but i still feel insecure. I've always thought whether i'm the only one who feels this way even though we've been together for such a long time. Plus i keep looking at his ex girlfriend?! Always compare with her cos i think she pretty PLUS she also sing super well lor & she's modelling too!! zz.

    Anyway, do try to change! I'm trying to change too. I know my attitude and temper would only lead to more problems.. I've been saying i wanna change but seems like it isn't improving :x

    Everyone has a limit to what they can tolerate and i've been through a stage which i doubt you would wanna go through (i.e. when the guy leaves u and u totally regret it..) So yep, try to change k, for yourself and for him :')

    Let's work towards being a better girlfriend! Jiayou :)

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  52. you love your boyfriend too much thus resulting to this.

    and maybe, you could strike off a tiny bit of your ego. (:

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  53. Ohmygosh I'm like that too! I thought I was the only one! I'm super paranoid and crazy too sometimes it drives me and my bf really mad. Hang on tammy you're not alone! <3

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  54. hahaha! so funny!! i'm like that sometimes too. bet most girls are? we just wanna hear nice/sweet things from our bf...and we wanna win their ex-gfs!! haha! but we shouldnt do this too often. not cool. once i think i overdid it and my bf got real angry :( so i learned to control myself now :)

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  55. I WAS a little like you - but I totally understand how you feel. I could have been like you, but i took my emotions under great control; not an easy task but i managed and i'm now a perfectly sane girlfriend. my bf is the loving sort: once he falls in love and has his heart broken, he takes looonngg to get over it.

    i was quite mad, too. one time i asked him why is it that guys find certain girls pretty and 'perfect' but don't go for them. and he said it's cus they may be out of the guys' league. too smart, too pretty, etc, may intimidate a guy and perhaps make him feel inferior. then, i went bonkers. although nothing he said was wrong - it was his opinion afterall - i started assuming that he must have found me not pretty and smart enough, or something along those lines. he went on explaining that though a girl may seem 'perfect', feelings for her has to first exist for anything else to develop; 'no feelings no talk'. then, i went kukoo and said: 'aren't all guys the same? pretty, smart, kind, gorgeous, blah blah, all guys will like what?! what's there to dislike??' i regretted saying that - though at that moment i was raging with frenzy, livid and all - cus it totally pissed him off.

    Sigh. Sometimes we girls really need to learn!! Yes, your bf is still with you, cus obviously he sees great virtues in you - though he wishes you'd stop acting like a nutcase.

    I've stopped being crazy, though sometimes I get jealous when he finds certain girls/actresses pretty (he hardly find girls pretty, and when he does, they are no less than beautiful and gorgeous). It reached the point where I start to compare my facial features to these girls.

    Babe, i'm sure he truly loves you for who you are! His present character is shaped by his past. So, be thankful for his past because you've such a tolerating, accommodating and loving boyf! :)

    p.s: don't wait till he becomes tired of your behaviour. it's too laatttee for regrets then, attempts to salvage the r/s will be feeble or futile. trust me on this. ;)

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  56. hey babe,

    if there's one thing that youre not, its confidence.
    there must be something about you that the ex doesnt have that make me head over heels for you (:


    cheers !
    happy cny too!

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  57. Since you've bothered to write such a long post JUST to analyse your behaviour, then change it. It's better than NOT knowing what to change so that you can be better.


    The only person standing in your way is yourself.


    There is no end when it comes to comparing cause we are all made differently. No one could do something like you do, just like how we can't do things other people do it. You are attending church, ain't you? That God makes us differently and uniquely.


    Ask your God help you lah. Haha.
    More self-control, wisdom, patience.


    Meanwhile continue to 'huat', your business is doing well 'cuz the designs I want are always out of stock very quickly! tsk lol. Takecare.

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  58. Not to worry, i'm just the same as you! Even worse, i will always compare myself with her and then show attitude to my bf. And i will always ask him qn about his ex like how they met etc, which obviously gonna trigger my jealousy mode. Sigh, sometimes i wish i could just stop comparing myself with her.

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  59. I can totally understand how I feel. I'm being going on and on about this towards my bf. Hoping that he will say the things I hoped to hear, leading to my screaming at him, calling him a liar. I am still at it now, I have no idea how to stalk. Except that I am too dumb to stalk them, cuz I have no idea about their blog URL. I guess that my boy has reached his limit and he's feeling quite stress towards this relationship. I guess that it is urber unhealthy afterall. We NEED to learn to stop. =(

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  60. I was like you. Do lots of stupid shit to my bf and causing both parties to suffer. It's really not worth it. In order for this r/s to last, you need to be secure first. Stop comparing. Really, it will NEVER work if you keep comparing. You're great. You may not have the best figure, (which i dont think so), may not be the prettiest (which i dont think so too) and blah blah blah but what's the whole point of comparing? You need to love yourself before asking him to love you.

    Dont wait till he's tired of all these crazy stuffs. It's really to regret by then.

    Jiayou. (:

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  61. I used to be like you! & I suggest you must stop! Control yourself even if u wanna check out his exgfs and their pics, DON'T no matter how bored you are or think u won't think any of a big deal out of it! I lost my ex bf I love alot. Cuz after seeing past pics of his ex and knowing he loved her alot, I always thought he didn't love me enough. I wanted him to
    Love me more than her! We end up fighting alot and yea, broke up. But after quite some time I realized he loved me more than his ex gf but sometimes when things get to a point that is so bad, it can't be mended anymore. Have more confidence in yourself, in him and you both! :) u guys will last!

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  62. It's wonderful to know that we're not all alone. I was just like you. It's so dumb really, that we're stalking them and pissing ourselves off. In actual fact, we just want to know that we're the best. Maybe these girls had a special place in their hearts at one point in time and as current gfs, we can't take it. Because we'd all like to be the one and only, don't we?

    I managed to get over it by getting straight to the point with my boy - I tell him, when I bring up your ex gf, I just want to know that I'm the best in your heart and none of them could ever come close. It helps when he insults her too haha. It worked, you should try it :) Nowadays, I act up some times too and get a bit jealous about his ex. But then he'll get slightly pissed and I know it's time to stop because the arguments are just not worth it. Communicating about what you want to hear really helps :)

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  63. Hey Tammy,

    Have been reading ur blog for a v long time,but didn't post comments before!

    My bf is my first love,so I haven't had any experience in like being jealous over ex-gfs!

    BUT!!!

    I know that previously he liked a girl,and I tell you,I would always stalk her.SOMETIMES,I THINK I AM STUPID IN DOING THAT!!!

    And we also quarrel about almost everything,like when I am angry,I would just use ANYTHING TO QUARREL.

    Like I don't even like him liking other ppl fb's status,but not mine!Than I realised I am so chidlish!Cause he told me that love aren't like tt!

    So I guess that at times,a rs does faces such difficulties and moodswings!Hope you really settle well with your bf! :D

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  64. my current bf has an exgf whom he loved so much and they were tgr for afew years. so i get really jealous whenever he mentioned about the girl. i'm really curious about that girl but i control myself not to do it because i know i'll get even more jealous. :(

    like everytime he say he loves me and all sorts of stuff i'd be like "ya right you also used to say such things to her what."

    i think most girls are like that but you gotta know that of all those girls he left/who left him, he chose you!! and a lot of us think that you're really pretty so don't be so insecure already :(

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  65. I'm like that too. Look at their ex gf photos/blog. Even check his message secretly. There sure will be some quarrel sometime for our sencetive. But relationship won't grow without qaurreling. So CHEER UP ya. (: Do mind asking are you Cancer Girl? Horoscope i mean.

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  66. I AM like that hahaha! Just that for now i will constantly tell myself to stop these stupid thoughts when they come out to play and just freaking trust him already hehe

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  67. hey dear learn to control yourself :) always rmb whats in your/your bf's past must stay in the past okay. so always rmb to make an effort not to bother about things in the past. if you're curious about his ex gf's looks its fine to check bt dont torture yourself by comparing looks etc because he loves you now, not them. rmb always focus on the present! and before you say anything or explode always think carefully and logically :)

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  68. i'm a gal myself and I also think what you do is a bit siao but then again where love is concerned people do crazy things so don't beat yourself up over it .. ... I think it's especially sweet when your bf apologizes and gives in to you when he's not in the wrong though! this one's a keeper!! good luck girl *hugs*

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  69. HAHAH! It's okay! I sometimes also like this! I still very geikiang worh, Know the facebook friendship page thingy? I still will type in my boyfriend's name, then his ex. Then see how they sweet they were in the past and then I will get crazy and stuffs by myself. Just to find something to argue about. Tsk.

    But now, everything's getting better. He still can spam call me in the middle of the night until I pick up his call, just to calm me down, assuring everything's okay. LOL.

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  70. Hey Tammy! I used to be really insecure and I over-think too. Probably more than you do. But I managed to overcome it and my relationship have been really awesome lately! You should do your very best to change for the better and put the past behind you! Bringing it up creates a lot of unnecessary unhappiness. If this goes on, one day your boyfriend might not be able to take it anymore and he'll probably leave you? You don't want that day to come and then regret. Think positive thoughts always, it makes things a lot better. Have self confidence, and be happy! Inner beauty is really important and I'm sure your boyfriend sees it in you. :)

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  71. Never wanted to admit this, but I do it too. Sigh. I guess I'm not alone.

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  72. babe, you should read her blog. you'll probably feel better. "bumped into the ex yesterday and he basically behaved as if my appearance in front of him irks him and that i probably could have sprouted a tree on my head and he wouldn't have given anymore of an expression"

    even though it wasn't very kind of him to do so but it was for your benefit! you should give your boy a big big hug. :)

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  73. At least you were honest about how you feel! My bf was a player with ONS shits and all... and I'm just a complete noob in relationships. I agreed to go out with him because he had decided to settle down.
    The things he whispers and does to me, I sometimes wonder if he's done the same to other girls before. And, OF COURSE HE HAS. But I chose to go out with him, though I feel the tiniest resentment occasionally, but I have to accept his past too.
    But like you, I do go crazy when my bf makes a comment on a pretty girl/actress, or he misses something he used to do alot with an ex. I'll be like " IS IT, GO BACK TO HER LOR." or Shout to said pretty passerby "MY BF THINKS YOU'RE HOT AND DO-ABLE!"...
    So Tammy, you're not so alone after all. At least your bf gives in sometimes, mine blows up over my insecurities instead of calming me down. So yup, take a leaf out of our books and instill in your heart so you can better control your emotions k! xoxo

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  74. exactly like you, all these insecurities are just biting on us. but they really are uncalled for. i hate his ex girlfriend so much hate the fuck out of his ex girlfriend but what can i do. its his past. you didn't give him the chance to meet you earlier before his ex right

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  75. omg haha i thought i was the only girl like that! I used to do that to my bf too until our 3-year r/s ended. I learnt a lot from it, it may sound difficult and impossible to change yourself, but you can!!! =) I used to google his name and find out everything about his ex and torture him about what she was like, etc. I know right, it's such a waste because I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn't stop myself. Don't worry, you're not alone! There are also plenty of couples out there who look all perfect and happy on the outside, but it's common for one or both of them to be psychotic too.

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  76. don't worry... I think you are normal.. haha.. I am like that too...

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  77. when are ya updating OSF again? it seems like a long long hiatus

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  78. lol im like tt too. just tt i dont bitch abt his ex. i just.. find fault for nth n get angry about.. nothing. -.-

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  79. Hi Tammy almost 80% of the girls are like this. Girls are forever competitive otherwise we are not normal. Lol! Anyway I'm exactly like you too. Probably should be feeling worse because my bf ex is now his friend gf. So they hang out together. So whenever we hang out she will be there too. Imagine the awkwardness! Well, me and my bf had come a long way full of happiness and lots of my tantrums! Just got to face it with an open heart and laugh about it all the time! The r/s will be a lot better and you two will be closer too!

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  80. Same for me! I just asked him yesterday if he is single, and his ex crush whom he's crazy for is also single, do u want to get together with her? He said yes followed by i know its nt the answer u want. But he also said, but that is just "if". Now ur my gf so i love u
    I was boiling inside but i actually want to explode! Jealous max! HAHAHA I guess 70% of the girls are the same!

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  81. HAHA omg I'm like that ALSO i think its impossible to not compare ok! Like girls who say they don't confirm do -_- just that they're afraid to admit it. I lovelovelove to dig my boyf's past out and keep asking him about it and making myself more and more depressed haha I thought I was the only psycho around

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  82. I am exactly like you. My boyfriend and I have been quarreling a lot and its the exact same reason as your's. But talk it out! (: Cheer up!

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  83. Hey babe. We are all like that.
    i was like this too, i saved his ex girlfriend's photo and kept finding chances to put her down. Even went to her blog to write ugly stuff. but i kinda realised that what i was doing was immature and all, so i really tried to control, like i stopped stalking his ex and stopped looking at her photos. although i catch him looking at other girls on the streets sometimes, i just try to be cool about it because i look at other guys too so it's fair enough.

    In your case HE shld be more insecure than you are given your past with D, and you are a totally gorgeous girl that soooo many guys are dying to be with, so don't think so much tammy. Don't ruin your relationship!

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  84. Good luck on your love life.

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  85. tammy.. just cause most of the girls are like this doesnt mean its okay to behave like this. your last edit shows that you actually know he loves you what. everytime you think otherwise, think of those times where he take care of you k? he wont put in that much effort if he doesnt love you one. serious :) cheer up!! i feel like that too sometimes then i will think 'huh insecure for what, he would have left me long time ago'. of course got other girls prettier, better than you lah. its the same thing, got more handsome smarter kinder boys than your bf but he's the one you want right? its the same thing! you're the one he wants! just cause they are better at you than something doesnt mean he loves them. what they have, may be absent in you. but for all you know, they are bad gfs, and they dont have some qualities that you have :) must be logical k tammy!!!

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  86. haha i'm like this sometimes as well. I asked my boyf to delete his ex girlfriends from his fb cos i was worried that he will go and see their photos etc. I don't even want him to go near any of his ex girlfriends. I think most of the girls are very insecure about this matter. But my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years alrd so we don't really quarrel about this kind of thing anymore.

    It'll take some time and most r/s will go through this phase, don't worry! Last long with him! :)

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  87. Relax :)
    You will have to start thinking more before you speak, especially when you're saying such harsh things to him.

    He loves you alot and wholeheartedly, i am sure he wouldn't feel good when you claim about how he "doesn't love you as much as he loved his ex" and how he should "go back to her" because he no longer loves her and isn't interested in getting back together with her.
    He only loves you and he needs you to trust him more :)

    Have faith in him, don't doubt his love, and i am sure the relationship will be alot happier :)

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  88. I feel for you :')

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  89. seriously, frankly speaking, im also like that. you're not alone. (: just try to think positively. ^^

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  90. look at it this way.... at such a young age, very few relationships are destined for marriage. you may or may not be in one so just take things lightly and enjoy the ride. it's not about the destination. watch no strings attached. it may inspire you.

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  91. hey babe. im serious. IM like that tooo! its very normal. but next time you want to shout at him. THINK of the consequences. will it make him lose feelings? You dont want that to happen. yes boys say they WONT LOSE FEELINGS but i tell you k "dont ever hold a kite too tight"! so dont shout so much at him. must go assure him you love him! and then you try to change for him. girl, the exgfs are something of the past alr. no point dwelling. think about it? you want to stay jealous OR lose your bf dearie?? and if ur bf still likes them, he will be gone long ago(you know men) so yea. dont doubt him.
    stay cheerful "_

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  92. I totally know how you feel. I feel as if your blog post is expressing out all my feelings too! I always do this and it do make the r/s worst. Thank you for writing such blog post because I feel so expressed by you. hahaha.

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  93. LOL tammy you're so not alone. My bf has like a long list of ex-gfs and he treat them all like crap. and i'm the only one in which he really had a serious relationship with. Its already our 3rd year tgt and sometimes i still go crazy and ask him lots of crap like will he ever treat me like how he treat his exes? hahaha i think what we girls all want is security and assurance. and we all need to be reminded that our bfs wont leave us. hmm... maybe its just a girls thing, something that guys just dont get ;)

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  94. I was kind of like you too! But the only difference is that I do not show any emotion in front of my bf cause I don't want him to think I am insecure and all. I did not even mention anything to him. He is no longer in contact with his ex but sometimes I will still go to her facebook and see what is going on. I even googled her name to see if I can find anything! Obviously my bf doesn't know and like you, I have a competitive nature and I must always win. I must be smarter, prettier and be everything she will never be. We have a talk previously and we both agreed not to mention anything about our exes in front of each other ever again. Names are not allowed. Being domineering, I told him he cannot even mention anything related to her. For instance, if they went to USS previously, he cannot say that he have fun there cause HE WENT THERE WITH HER when others asked him in front of me. I know that is kind of unreasonable but that is just the way I am. I guess many girls out there are similar in this aspect too. I do not throw tantrums cause I believe that the more you get angry, the more unlikely you won't get your way. You have to behave in a rational manner so he will listen to you. I can bet you his ex gf has the same insecurities when they are together too. If she threw a tantrum before, what makes me any different if I do the same right? But that is just me, I have to win her even if it comes to displaying my jealously and I must handle it gracefully.

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  95. hey dont be too fed up with urself with regards to this. i believe it's just one of the stages on a developing/progressing relationship.

    after the honeymoon phase comes this phase where both of you may start doubting each other/feel insecure. ive been through that before too , i felt ike i was gg crazy everyday, being upset/hurt/uncertain about hw he feels asbout me. and thgs are much better now. dont give up k :)

    some thgs cant be rushed, and relationships definitely cant be rushed. it takes time to go through the various phases, and it's these "tough" times that makes you, ur bf, your relationship stronger. have faith :))

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  96. oh my fucking god. We are so similar. Suddenly i feel better cuz i knw im not the only one

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  97. Hi Tammy,
    Don't be so insecure about yourself, it's not gonna help the relationship at all. I'm sure there're things your bf loves you about and it's more than just singing, looks, size etc. Most importantly, you should learn to be comfortable in your own skin cause really, insecurities will just eat you away if you keep dwelling upon it. There're so many things to love about yourself. I'm also saying this cause i broke up with my ex and it was fueled by my mistrust. i thought he was talking to this girl way too much and made a fuss about it. While it wasnt the sole reason why we broke off, i guess that was the last straw for him. I still have no idea whether it was a right decision to confront him, but as it turned out we didn't have a good ending. I hope you'll reply to this comment, cause i do have a question for you: How do you remain friends with your ex? I havent spoken to my ex since we broke off and i have no idea what to do. should i wait for him to make the first move?

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  98. tammy, i have a bf of two years, and i behave EXACTLY like that. he's kinda used to it already and dont give a fuck whenever i say such sarcastic things. but i always mouth itchy, must say things like,

    so you think shes prettier la? break up with me and go to her lor.

    HAHAHA but i try to restrain myself. i love my bf so much. but i am afraid some day he cannot tahan then really break up with me. like that i will go insanely MAD!!! :(

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  99. You need to take a chill pill.

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  100. i'm a girl myself and i never knew girls can be so PSYCHO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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  101. You girls are so lucky! I used to be like you tammy, finding faults, having nightmares of him going back to his ex, but we've been tgt for close to 2 years, and in the past he doesn't know how to comfort me, and i guess it all piles up and now he's worse! he just gets upsets and flips and walks away/ break up with me!

    I do not stalk his gf, just wanna hear him say nice things abt me and reassure me, but he doesn't even hug me after a quarrel or give in!

    hopeless case already... i've been teaching him how to pacify me, but he just won't do it. it's been close to 2 years. he probably doesn't love me anymore?

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  102. maybe you just need to trust him more? :)

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  103. Its your relationship, not THEIR relationship. Focus on the both of you, and not on him and HER.

    I was like that in the past too, and my ex got so stressed up and broke up with me, and forgot whatever love we had in the first place.

    I asked my boyf what he will do if I still behaved like that, he said he will be very stressed everyday, not knowing when things like these will happen. If you love your boyf and want to continue with him, stop doing this.

    Dont ask him about his exes, ever, since you know you will only get angry.

    Bottomline is, he will get hurt and so will you. And its not even something that is happpening now, that was history. Why spoil your r/s for something that happened in the past? Theres a reason why they broke up and why you two are together, u know.

    Dont continue to spoil your own r/s if u wan to carry on this r/s. God bless!

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  104. i'm like that too. he's always saying sorry for the things that he did not even do. jealousy is such a bad element in relationship ):

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  105. thank goodness i'm not alone =)

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  106. Hey Tammy, you need to have more CONFIDENCE! I was like you once (sometimes I still go crazy now and then, but less often :P).

    My bf always tells me 'if I'm the kind of guy who will leave you just because another girl is prettier, then I'm not worth keeping'. I find it quite true! If he's that kind that fall out of love so easily, I rather end it sooner than waste my time. So just live and let live! Whatever will be will be. You are still so young. Many many years ahead of you to find true love.

    Having said that, I'm sure your current bf loves you a lot. Otherwise he won't be bother to apologise (for smth he didn't even do?!). Treasure him and don't chase him away by going nuts on him! :)

    Take care and all the best! :)

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  107. I think it's normal to feel insecure and inferior sometimes but it's not ok if u keep bringing up the past. And if yr bf is so good to u, why make things so difficult for him? Try to understand how he feels too? and maybe stop being so jealous :P

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  108. Exes are exes for a reason. just have to tell yourself that :) and don't be so selfish. i know it's kinda natural to react in a way where you're only thinking about yourself but, it IS a r/s afterall!

    love conquers all! all the best ^^

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  109. hey babe, I had to comment cos I totally know how you feel. I've had my fair share of stalking girls that my boyf thought was pretty/hot/whatever, and I went crazy comparing myself to them, trying to work out everyday and trying to make my hair softer my complexion better, basically doing anything and everything I could to better myself.

    Ultimately I think it boils down to how we love our boyfs so much, we just want them to have the best and in our minds we are clouded by big eyes, sharp noses and hot bodies. But after a long while and after much convincing from my boyf I've come to realise that guys dont need girls who are super pretty or hot, appearances are fleeting. Our boyf's see something special in us and thats why they love us so much and accommodate all our nonsense.

    I felt so bad each time hurting him when I know he cant do anything to take back the past. So I slowly changed with time, to learn to think twice before speaking. Constantly remind yourself that you dont want to hurt your boyf and he deserves more than that, and slowly build up your own self confidence (: I'm sure you can do it! cos i've done it (: keep going babe!!!

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  110. i am also psychotic then. got once i got so upset that i literally punch him while he was asleep. i couldnt stand that i was crying away and he was happily sleeping away. must make him suffer.

    well, my bf didnt take it very well and he wanted to break up. I GOT EVEN CRAZIER.

    but he gave in eventually, swearing off not to contact girls. its all in the mind i think? because i am quite okay now? hahaha.

    i slowly realize how good he has been to me and i decided to look beyond that. past, exes, or even current normal friend, i am okay with them. as long as his female friends dont cross the line like texting him every single sec, flirt and etc. thats when my defense system activates.

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  111. Hello tammy!
    Before I read your post, I thought I was the only psycho girlfriend!!!!!
    :(
    I don't stalk his ex.
    But, I'll feel insecure if he meets new girls. Afraid that they are better etc!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    And maybe all girls are like this :(
    JEALOUSY CAUSES HATRED!!!!
    OH MAN.

    Ha, and I don't know I get jealous easily and that makes me angry and I'd say like " go go find her la " blah blah. haha, awww. And that leads to problems :(

    I've been trying to control lately not to be jealous etc.
    But it feels damn xinku :<
    Like he should be the one you'll feel good talking too.. but you can't complain that you're jealous etc. Cause this might lead to fights again!! Or breakups :(

    I guess from this I'd say that we aren't alone really x.x thankfully you posted this! hahaha, if not i'd forever be thinking that i'm the only psycho and problematic gf!
    I think we've to control!!!!!!!
    JIAYOUZX! :D

    REMEMBER, YOU'RE AWESOME GIRL!!!!!!!!!! <3
    ONE IN A MILLION! ^^

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  112. I am a libra and I think that way too! I always check up on him! It's normal! Don't worry! You're not alone!!!!! :)

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  113. Im pike that too! Im so gpad that there are people who's like me. My bf doesnt knows how to comfort me though and when he does not comfort me, i go crazy. I guess we've to really change and im trying hard to do that! Its probably us and not the bf. I'm really afraid he'll like and fall in love with other girls in future. Low self esteem have really caused alot of problems to arise. Just tell urself tha Everything will be better in time to come! (:

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  114. Oh my god. You don't understand how alike I am to you. I'm mad jealous of my boyfriends ex-girlfriend. The fact that they were in love, the fact that what he tells me, he probably told her, the fact they were intimate together etc. Makes me jealous as. And shes like friends with my boyfriends friends which makes me even more jealous. I torture myself by looking at her photos, their old memories etc. Honestly don't know why I do it. And I hate it when he brings up stuff about her, just makes me feel like shit. Even though I trust my boyfriend, I still get jealous and sometimes think they'll get back together. To come to think about it, it can be harmful for a relationship!

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  115. I feel that way all the time. Actually im kindda glad that im not the only one who feels that way. You're very pretty, have more confidence in yourself!

    et

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  116. I'm like this too!! hahaha!! btw you are very skinny and pretty ok!! hope the both of you stay in love till the end of time!!

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  117. tammy! i read your blog post and i was like OMGGGGGGGGG....I'M TOTALLY THE SAME. every single line you posted, i can relate to it! i feel like a psycho gf too and sometimes i really don't know how to make myself STOP doing this. it doesn't help that my bf has a very very foul temper. so when i get crazy, he gets crazy, AND LET ME TELL YOU..it gets very ugly. we hurl vulgarities at each other. but we truly are very in love. my bf has been nothing but the best bf.. and i'm always feeling so insecure, so sensitive, it's like i can't stand the sight of a pretty girl. i'll HATE a girl whom he finds pretty. it's damn scary la!!! so i just want you to know, you're not alone!!!

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  118. dear tammy,

    you are not alone! with the internet and social websites its easy fr us to stalk and feel totally upset afterwards. for totally ntg.
    however, i hv come to realise somtg in general abt singaporean girls through their blogs (im malaysian). its that, why do singaporean girls think so lowly of themselves? ive came across many bloggers like you, who r really pretty and have a nice healthy body,but still think that they r fat/ugly/etc! why!!!!!
    im guessing the expectations of yr society r higher than those expected of KL girls, but with all sincerity, you r not fat and ugly.

    im sure u dont sing too terribly either ;)

    stay strong tammy.

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  119. I love how everyone is saying that they are like that as well.

    BECAUSE SO AM I HAHAHA!!

    My bf's ex was in last years Miss World competition and I STALK her photos like crazy!!! I even joined some stupid contest that she was in SO THAT I CAN SEE WHO IS PRETTIER/BETTER.

    I get so angry when I find pictures/tweets I couldn't even breathe properly, cried like a bitch and turned totally crazy!!!

    FOL Seriously.

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  120. hi Tammy,
    hope ure feeling better from the quarrellings. I kinda understand hw u feel cos i used to be like that too. But looking back, I realised it's just not worth it to lose a r/s to silly arguments. It's not easy for 2 ppl to fall in love, so treasure it. and ure pretty and capable, so be confident, im sure ur bf loves u as much as u love him. and, have a happy vday! Xx

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  121. Hey Tamz,

    just wanne say that you're actually really brave to be posting your problems online! Not many people have the courage to expose their flaws to the whole world y'know? :) and yknow what? i bet his ex-es also have many flaws, but they may not have the courage to post it all out. :) at least you've realized the situation's getting out of hand and is tryin' to change! im sure your bf will be able to sense the change in you and in turn love you more cus you put in sooo much effort to make the r/s work out well :)

    Anyhow, please know that you're not alone. :) i used to suffer from BPD too and all the stuff you've been through, i've too, and believe me i handled it worse than you. But i'm not like that anymore, now that i'm single. Thing is, you'll really view things with a different perspective when you're single vs when you're in a r/s. Like, after the breakup i feel that that im actually kinda childish tormenting myself with his past - something that cannot be changed! so when i meet my mr. right the next time round, i'll be sure to tell myself not to commit the same mistakes again. :)

    If i can be cured of BPD, so can you! you haveta start realizing your self-worth babe :) Life's fulla choices.. you can always choose to stay happy! ^^

    P.s I do hope i don't sound like a stalker but i'm quite a frequent reader of your blog and i adore osf! :)

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  122. Just wanna let you knw that you're nt alone. And I'll start t hyperventilate and hit myself all :/

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  123. Omg tammy you're not alone, every girl is paranoid about their boyfriend's exs! And trust me you're not the worst one yet! :) I believe he's moved on already, he's old enough to think and treat you as a princess! :)

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  124. Im the same.. HAHAHA

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  125. omg, i found someone like me. my bf always thinks that IM ABNORMAL to be so sensitive? I guess after i see ur post and the comments, I come to realize that girls are just being girls. We can be very sensitive when it comes to issues regarding bf's ex and i feel that u shouldn't blame urself for acting like this. Its only because u love him, tts why there is jealousy and anger. When i read ur post, I thought u are my twin or what. lol. Too similar to be true, the random comparison arguments and the things u do to check out the ex and even while watching movie with hot actress. haha. I too would like to change this habit, cause finding fault would really make a guy lose his patience... guess we have to trust our bf's more. hope that your relationship with him will be happy one! :)

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  126. Hi Tammy,

    In my case, its quite the opposite. My boyf's the one being sensitive and all. I'm the kind of girl who's not easily jealous, so usually when my boyf and I quarrel, it's always bcos of him being angry over smth small. But me being a girl, i couldn't give in. Cos i myself was angry for him being angry over little stuffs. -.- So yep, we quarrel quite often. He himself know that he's over-sensitive and hot-tempered. He actually shouted at me before and i was so scared. I didn't know what t do but t calm him down. But i often feel that its unfair. Cos i always have t be the one apologising althou its not my fault. But i did it anw, cos i hate quarreling w him. :/

    I guess diff girls have diff personality. And t be in a long relationship, each of us have t give in? So if you know you're always sensitive and insecure, maybe you could be more conscious of it whenever you're w him so that it won't lead t any quarrels? I guess the key t r/s is trust.

    Anw, i don't think you should even bother replying t those ppl who's been trying t spoil your r/s w your boyf. Srsly, who knows? Maybe they're just acting as if they know him and his ex and tries t make things worse? yeah, just ignore them. Cos nobody is perfect. And things happen for a reason. There's a reason why he's not w his ex but w you. And i'm sure you know the reason - it's cos you both are in love w each other.

    So just keep in mind, if you want this r/s t work, compromise. :)

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  127. okay honestly you need to do just one thing. get over yourself... you think you're looking at other girls and thinking they are pretty or talented or whatever, but you're not obsessing over any one thing, but yourself. oh i must be the prettiest thinnest etc... stop being so self-absorbed and just LIVE.
    i'm sure your bf really loves you... but you have to stop obsessing over being the perfect girl for him. if he loves your your little unique features would endear to him. your laugh, the way you chew on your food the little things you don't notice but make him smile. just not you going all psycho-bitch on him.

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  128. lol tammy! i'm like that tooo but not so extreme la haha. but my bf isn't as nice as yours he'll scold me and cause me to think about what i said! and because of the tremendous amounts of scolding that i get, i started to wake up and it gradually died down.

    think about it this way, if he still loves his ex, he'll dump you already and get back together with her since she is still his good friend!

    its normal to feel that way, we are all girls and its natural for us to feel insecure! (: much love, hope your situation improves!

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  129. Love your honesty. Really. I mean not everyone can be that honest with the rest of the world. There are many issues about myself that I can't come to terms with. And I don't really love to tell others about it. I think coming to terms with your own "problems/weakness" is uber cool :) So you're one cool girl. And you've gotta be more confident of yourself! You're really good looking at all. So you'll have to assure yourself more often? Sometimes I get those inferiority complex issues pretty often too. But at the end of the day, no matter how many people tell you that you're fine and all. It still boils down to you, you've gotta assure yourself about it.

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  130. TAMMY! Come ON you're so pretty! if you're my ex's new gf i'd be going MAD!! i'd get depressed!

    hahaha.

    just don't look at old photos etc.

    concentrate on making your relationship work and treasuring him to the max!

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  131. i'm exactly the same as you when comes to quarrels in relationship..and went fucked up for no reason

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  132. Actually Tammy, its all about communication. i understand what you mean but it requires some self control. its about reaping what you sow. if u sow all this jealousy and quarrels, it will tear you guys apart. when u feel like u are really angry and the words that are gona hurt him is gona come out, the best thing to do is to walk away first and cool down. every time i get angry with my bf cause he sometimes is really insensitive, not knowing what i feel and all and all that is in my mind is to want to scold him and say things that will not be really nice, i will just go take a nap and cool down and the next day i will explain to him how i feel and what happened. i do that because i know that in my angry moments i will say things that i dont mean and hurt him really bad in the end and thats not what i want.

    i understand that we girls need alot of assurance. i stalk his ex gf too and i share with him how i feel about his ex. and i allow him to be honest. it is true that his ex gf is damn hot and everyone will think so. but he tells me that he loves me for who i am on the inside and tts really all that matters. i think initially when u first get tgt u really need alot of assurance. but it comes to a point where u need to trust in what he says if not whatever he assures you will be useless alrd. God loves you Tammy :)

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  133. Hahaha. I am just like you!! I thought I was the only one too! Wow.

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  134. Wow are u serious?! 80% of u all say you're like her and now u think you're normal? How unhealthy can your relationship be if you find stupid reasons to fight all the time?! Nothing better to do? Are you so free you have to worry bout petty things? Damn drama. All because of insecurities n wanting to feel like you're the best. Everybody is diff. Comparing yourselves just shows how competitive n egoistic u guys are. Find someone who has nvr been in a relationship b4 then. Nobody to compare to!

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  135. i think you need to change your group of friends? I mean, if they are your FRIENDS, they should keep their hands off your boyfriend man. It's not cool!

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  136. How long u and your bf lasted? :)

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  137. Hi babe,

    I feel the same as you! totally!

    Im forcing myself not to dig out too much info about his past. Once i felt so insecure and i demanded him to show me his personal blog. And since then, he stopped blogging. I dont know why am i like that too :(

    Sometimes it gets so hard for me and i really want to give up because im so insecure and im afraid it will strain the relationship.

    Anyway all the best to you and your bf!

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  138. haha girly youre like any other girl on this planet inlcuding me :) thats why when we find someone who can tolerate all this craziness its a blessing
    hope you have a great day ahead

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  139. Hi Tammy! Although I haven't read your blog much before and this is my first time in a long long while visiting it, I am glad I managed to stumble upon this post! Like SO many of th girls here, I have to admit that I am absolutely like you too. I thought I was alone until today, and it sucks because once those things are said or done, I realise I can never take them back.

    However after reading this post, I am now more clear about what I should do already. Trust me that you are very pretty already, although I know no matter how we will always find someone better to compare with. So jiayou together, let's overcome all these insecurities with time. May you and your guy last! (:

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  140. we're just girls. that's what girls do and it's sosososo normal. some ppl keep it to themselves, some who r like u and me , dont do that.

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  141. Hey! Your post kind of enlightened me quite a bit because like you, I've found someone who's too good for me and I've been struggling with the fact if I should leave him so that he can find someone better.
    Now I know that I should treasure him all the more! :)  


    Thank you so much! :D

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  142. good to hear that babe :)

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  143. I came across your blog for the first time last night and have been going through it slowly here and there, I like how honest you seem to be in your posts and also because I genuinely think you're a very pretty girl.  Anyways I decided to comment on this post in particular because you've hit a soft spot within me.  I as well, am a 'psycho GF' in my current relationship.  I totally can understand how you feel, about how angry you get and how it feels sooo stupid afterward when you've realized that you created (again and again) a huge deal over a 'thought' that you could've just kept to yourself. 

    My BFs Ex was the 'love of his life/first love' and she's prettier than me (gosh, even my own friends talk about how pretty she is!), more educated, has a good career, loves sports as much as he does and etc.  I go crazy not only over his ex but even over the random sluts he slept with during his single time before me... for different reasons though, because I am disgusted that someone I love and think highly of can stoop to such a low level and sleep with random girls.  But that's another story.  >.<  It's sad really, everyone will try to tell you it's the past, it was things that happened before you, focus on the future blah blah... and as much as you know it's true its so damn hard to get your brain to just stop wondering, comparing, and being curious.  Insecurity is a pain in the butt and I think girls like us have to learn it the hard way.  It's been over 3 years now with my BF and I can tell you although I've improved a bit in the last half year or so I still get those 'thoughts' that pop up everyday... I've just slooooowly learnt how to build my own confidence in our love and in myself.  But as you probably already know, it is a slow and hard process.   

    I apologize for the long post and I hope you do get around to reading this or seeing this, going to 'follow  you' on Twitter as well.  Good luck and I hope things will only get better for you and your man.  I know how tough it can be and you are definitely not alone!  I like you so much more just feeling how alike we are...  oh and don't let the negative comments get to you.  Just shrug them off, they don't live in your shoes or know the depths of how you feel.  & People like that will never have the balls to admit their own problems/insecurities.

    - H, from Canada

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  144. Omg I can like totally relate to this post haha I also always always always dig out the past. Like I ask him. Eh your ex pretty or not. Like.. well I guess its normal? Idk but I really hate myself for it. :( but you're so pretty and skinny and tall! You're not ugly okay to me you're like damn pretty for SG standard. ^^

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  145. whats wrong in wanting to feel the best? to be the best for your guy?

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