Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Week 14-16 (2nd Pregnancy)

I fit into my UK6 high waisted bottoms just fine until the end of week 14. Suddenly I gained 2kg in that week as my appetite became so huge! Is it because I know I have another inside me that's why I'm eating so much again or am I REALLY having a crazy huge appetite because of the baby? Haha. 

I am now at 16 weeks already and starting my pregnancy diary now because....

So super happy to receive a phone call from the doc that my baby is healthy and everything is good for now!

That was seriously a relief to hear because of all the things I've done in the first trimester, of not knowing I was pregnant. I really wanted another baby and for he/she to be healthy after finding out I was preggers. Should the baby not develop properly and be deformed or stuff like that, I don't know what I'll do. Terminating the pregnancy may be cruel to some, but letting the child be born with defects and suffering from serious health issues may be a torture for the child too. 

I was so worried, there were so many things to consider and think about. I exercised excessively, did not eat healthily at all, downed a few glasses alcoholic drinks, took birth control pills daily, was on super strong antibiotics and anti-depressants, did many more stuff I can't remember exactly but basically most of the big no-nos during pregnancy - which I ended up doing in the first 12 weeks I did not know I was pregnant. Definitely felt damn shitty about myself. Should anything happen to my baby, I can only blame myself for not choosing to lead a healthier lifestyle. My partner and I think this baby is really really meant to be because even after everything, he/she is well. Some people do everything right but still end up having a miscarriage. Some do everything wrong but get to keep their child. I always believe that things which happen in our lives are written and they all happen for a reason. Some things happen so we can learn to appreciate life more and help make us better, stronger beings.

At Week 16, I am 3kg away from my "normal weight". After giving birth to my first son, Elroy, I lost all the weight gained and a little more and was 49kg. Which means I started this 2nd pregnancy at 49kg. During my first pregnancy, I started at 51kg. Many think I look "smaller" this pregnancy but I beg to differ. I feel that I look the same as my 1st one but this time I hide it better. To me that is. My bump is actually visible already. Many people have said that i will start showing much much earlier with my second pregnancy but it doesn't seem to apply to me...I feel that it's the same as the 1st. Maybe just a teeny wee little bit slower than the first? Bouncing back to my pre-pregnancy weight before starting on my 2nd one was good actually! I won't call it a waste! It's much healthier and losing weight will not be tough after giving birth! Plus my abs were tighter from my excessive exercising which prolly explains why I had a bump around the same week as my first pregnancy (unlike most ppl who start showing 2-3 weeks earlier than their first pregnancy).

With this huge appetite I believe I'll gain even more in the weeks to come though haha. But I do want to be much healthier and hope I don't gain as much as my first baby moreover, luckily I've no major daily unhealthy cravings so far! Just feel that I dont get full I tend to eat a lot a lot more nowadays.

Week 16 (2nd Pregnancy)
Current Weight: 52kg
Weight Gained: 3kg (starting weight 49kg)